I’M SO CONFUSED…
I’m not sure if anyone else is experiencing the confusion that I have been going through the last few weeks, but man I’ll tell you what, I’m confused!
It’s strange because it seems like I’ve been so sure of everything in my life for the last 5 years that this recent onset of confusion has really thrown me for a loop!
Firstly, I’m so confused when it comes to these social issues we have been having. I mean, at times I feel as if I’m living in a completely separate dimension than everyone around me. I see these videos of police officers blatantly attacking people for standing their ground and sticking up for their rights. I see everyone pointing the finger at each other of who is wrong. I see so much anger and hatred. I see so much fear and desperation. Honestly, as I write this I feel everything from everyone and it’s overwhelming!
WHY DO WE ACT IN FEAR?
I just don’t understand why we are all so defensive, so aggressive, so fearful, so confined by our own minds. I have conversations with my clients about this political issue and that political issue, about how their children are disrespectful, about the most basic of life’s struggles and I can’t help but think to myself, “There is such an easy fix to that.”
WHAT ARE WE FIGHTING FOR?
You see my friends, I’m so confused about life because the life that I feel I belong in, in no way matches the life that Facebook and the news demonstrates to me. The life I feel we all belong in is so far from where we are and I don’t know how in the heck we are going to get out! I mean, we fight over our labels! We are always fighting over our labels! We fight each other because of skin color, we fight each other because of religion, we fight each other over financial class, we fight each other over belief sets about the way we think people should be acting, we fight about everything, and the only question I keep thinking to myself is, “When will we stop fighting?!” Seriously?! When will we move past who we think we are and recognize who we really are? When will we search ourselves instead of always looking outside? When will we care enough about the way feel and choose to live our life in accordance with that?
I’m so confused my friends. You know, the way I see the world is so far different from so many that I get so discouraged at times. I feel that we can make the world the place we see in our dreams, I do believe in a world where we can smile at each other, where we can walk with love in our hearts and peace in our mind. I believe in a world where we can shake hands with everyone and know that this is just a stopping point in our soul’s evolution, but yet no matter how hard I do my best to BE Love, it just seems like an uphill battle.
I’m so confused at the constant wanting to fight something! I get so confused with watching everyone always fighting against something! I hardly ever see anyone fighting FOR something!! Recently, we see the Cecil the lion story and all anyone wants to do is kill the dentist who killed Cecil, fighting the dentist. We see so much social media coverage about the Blacklivesmatter movement, and all we want to do is fight the cops. We see so much about the middle east and all we want to do is fight OTHER RELIGIONS. It’s baffling! It’s so fucking confusing!!
I swear, at times I feel like I’m taking crazy pills! There is not enough light to shine in the darkness when all anyone keeps focusing on darkness!! How in the hell are you ever going to bring peace, when all anyone really wants to do is fight against something?!
WHO’S THE REAL VILLIAN?
We are so addicted to the villains in our lives that we can’t even see that the biggest villain there is is right within you! You can’t see that the biggest villain there is, is your own mind. You can’t se that the biggest villain there is, is your own ego, constantly reminding you that you are separate from everyone else.
At times I wish my writing affected one billion people, changed the hearts of everyone who read something I’ve written because damn, I want everyone to see the world for what it really is.
I get so sad sometimes knowing that millions of people all over the world are starving, I get so sad sometimes knowing that millions of people are alone, scared, homeless, not knowing when the next time they will sleep in a comfortable bed. I get so sad sometimes knowing that thousands are okay with killing animals who have come for the simple reason to bring joy and balance. I get so sad sometimes knowing that all I ever do is see my brothers and sisters fighting each other. I get so sad sometimes when I here my brothers and sisters question the truth of their divinity. It makes me so sad that we allow fear to override our thoughts and refuse to make a conscious effort to change that.
I’m so confused. I honestly feel that most of the time I receive an answer for everything I ask from the Source of all life. I feel that I have awakened my understanding of receiving the answers from our Source when I’m quest-ioning, but lately I feel nothing but confusion.
LET YOUR LABELS GO!
I’m so confused as to why we are so resistant to changing the way we think and what we have been taught. I’m so confused as to why we have such a hard time seeing the other person’s point of view. I’m so confused as to why we are so stuck on our labels of gender, ethnicity, financial class, education level, geographical region, spiritual beliefs, and why fighting to hold on to those things causes so much pain and suffering and fear, not only for ourselves but others. I am so confused by the sheer fact that we are so afraid to let go of our identity that we will fight everyone who challenges it, no matter what the cost. And all the while, if we would let go of that identity we would reemerge with our Source, with God.
I wish so dearly that we could see each other as family of the same Source, as beings of the same Mother-Father, just snowflakes of the same storm. I wish so dearly that we stop fighting so hard against what we don’t want and start fighting FOR what we do want. I wish so badly that we begin to embrace each other with Love, with kindness, with compassion, with open hearts. I wish so dearly that we see each other as equals no matter the labels we have been given or given ourselves. I wish so dearly that we stop getting caught in the illusion that is our life, and awaken to the Truth of the grand universe. I wish so dearly that we treat the earth with kindness. I wish that we apologize for our wrong-doings. I wish that we hug a stranger, and hug them tight! I wish that we kiss with our eyes closed and feel the depth of that unity. I wish that we see the beauty that is us, and that is all things. I wish that one day we can see misfortune and come to the aid of that being, not with anger towards the ‘villain’ but with Love towards them both.
My brothers Jesus and Buddha have said that when we are struck upon the check, that we turn the other also. This is so profound! Nobody everyone wants to accept this deep teaching of our 2 masters, but when we are thrown down, do not hate the oppressor, love them anyways. Although we are beaten, if we maintain love in our hearts nothing can dissolve our own peace. When you see a fight and you watch someone walk away calmly, peacefully, do you not witness the most inner strength of all? It is not about always fighting against, because that just creates more inharmony. The only way to dissolve ignorance and fear is to meet it with Love.
If this finds you, I hope it brings peace to your heart.
All My Love,