relationships

It Hurts So…Well, It Hurts

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So for all my friends who think I’m always in a state of joy…the ruse is up…I’M NOT!!! 🙂 Today is a perfect example of that. I want to share a little lesson I have learned today that I feel we all can resonate with.

Last night I dreamt of my ex and her mother…2 separate dreams, both revolving around my ex. My recent spiritual understanding of dreams now lets me know that they are far more meaningful than we give them credit for, so I gave the dreams some thought and let them be. Later, throughout the day today I saw numbers and symbols that I use to associate with her. Things that I usually just smile at and let them be. As I went to the gym and was walking to the entrance, guess what?…yep, she drove right past me and didn’t even acknowledge me. While I was in the gym I began speaking to a very friendly man who I converse with frequently (and take Zumba with) and guess who walks right past me with again no acknowledgement?…yep, my ex.

Of course being the loud-mouthed individual I am I called out her name. She came over as if she wasn’t just praying to the angels that I wouldn’t say anything to her, and we began a short conversation. She approached the interaction tentatively and awkwardly, as if I wasn’t just giving her advice a few months ago. Anyways, the conversation ended and she went to her class and I began my workout.

While I was warming up, all these thoughts began running through my head and emotions associated with the thoughts about our experiences together. I even got a little jealous thinking about the guys she’s probably checking out! Me! This spiritual thing in this body! Jealous! Whoa! So I worked out, felt great, and as I was driving home began to observe the thoughts and emotions I was experiencing again.

I would think a thought such as, “Why do I have these feelings still?! It’s been almost 1 1/2 years!” And as I continued to have these thoughts I found myself getting angry. Frustrated. “Why do I have these feelings and not her?!…This doesn’t make sense, I should be done by now!” And then thoughts similar came in…”I will never get over her…Maybe I’m just meant to be alone…I’ll never find anyone that fits me!” And then I stopped…

I consciously stopped and observed where these were coming from…why these were coming in, and I laughed! It was the ego! Ha! That part of the mind that loves the drama…that loves attention…that causes separateness!!! It was the ego!! The maya! The devil, if you will. And then I thought, “Why was I thinking these initial thoughts to begin with?” Well, obviously, I still possess romantic feelings for her and then I allowed my mind to get loose! Hahaha

I was looking at such a small picture! My ego was focused on such a tiny part of the whole…a girl who doesn’t like me anymore! Haha!!! And then I thought…”FEEL IT!!!! Don’t resist the feeling of feeling hurt…FEEL IT!!!! For heaven’s sake Zach, you don’t know how many more times you will be able to feel your feelings hurt, or your ego bruised…EXPERIENCE THAT SHIT!!!!!” That’s really what I said in my mind by the way 😉

I thought that was the most profound thing God Intelligence has ever said to me…”FEEL IT!!!” Why would I resist such a crazy intense experience…simply because it wasn’t overwhelming joy?! No way sister christian! We have to feel!!! That is part of this experience we call human life! We MUST feel everything!!! Good, bad, ugly, dirty, gritty, funky monkey, all of it!!!!! That is what makes us feel alive baby!!! Why resist such a feeling!!!??? And you know what happened as soon as I began to FEEL the anger, not become the anger but FEEL the anger, it just let go. Isn’t that crazy?!

I was mad!!! I started the blame game…you know the, “Why did you bring her into my experience Creator?! That’s not fair that I feel this way and she doesn’t!” And when I became aware that I was doing that, that too faded. God Intelligence spoke and said, “I gave you exactly what you needed. I gave you exactly what you manifested based on your thoughts.” Of course! I DID bring her into my experience! It was a co-creation with the thoughts I was thinking and God Substance.

But what hit me so deeply was the fact of just FEELING the emotion! Just FEELING all of it…just in there…just heart hurting, chest tightening…all of it…and it felt so damn good!!!! Oh my heaven’s!!! My friends, as much as I have been preaching feeling good and joyous and Love, there is so much Love to be experienced in the hurt! SO MUCH!! I know that now! When we are aware that we are consciously wanting to experience the hurt, it no longer has power over us! When we consciously choose to experience it…WOW!!! Hurt has never felt so good!!! I’m going to have to intentionally call her more just so I can feel that again!!!

My brothers and sisters, we are here to experience the fullness of this reality! That means, ups and downs, swirls and twirls, joy and pain, hot and cold, nitty and gritty, all of it!!! And when we accept that fact…that we’re not just here for the cake but don’t want a spanking or 2 ;)–ladies that’s for you ;)–that’s when life becomes fun!!! This coming from the guy that’s always smiling, but I’m telling you…man, some hurt can make you feel so alive!!! Give yourself the Power! It belongs to you! Emotions and thoughts will come and go. And you can choose to experience them as a passing cloud in the sky, observe it, feel it fully, and watch it leave…or you can say how dark that cloud is and even after it has passed you’ll still talk about how much rain came from it. It is really your choice…not the Infinite Intelligence’s, not the person that hurt you, not your parent’s, nobody’s but yours…always yours!

Trust me when I say that when you are no longer afraid to experience an emotion, this rollercoaster ride is going to become tons of fun!!! 😀 I can’t wait for the next one!!! Wishing you well on your journey my siblings!!!

With All My Love,

Zach IAM

LISTEN TO ME!!! Screams the Ego

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As I have begun to write more, and speak more, regarding the Truths that I am consciously experiencing, I have been examining the way in which I deliver these messages; and the reason for why I want to deliver these messages. This has also caused me to examine the behaviors of others and the reason for their deliverance of these messages. Obviously I do not fully understand the reason for their words, but I can see patterns that arise that I resonate with.

When we speak, what is our general intent? Do you ever think about that? When I go out and I am speaking in a group I generally like to carry the conversation. Do you notice that as well? Do you like to be the “expert” on the topic that is being discussed? Do you like to have all eyes focused on you as you titillate the audience with your intellectual prowess? Or perhaps you are one of the individuals in the room that enjoys standing back and listening, perhaps looking to learn from the speaker, or possibly just tolerate him. 😉

When you speak in a group what is your intent? Even behind the reason that you wish to share knowledge? We all want to share knowledge, but what is even further behind that? Do you notice yourself forcing your way into a conversation at times so that you can add your opinion, or Truths that resonate with you? What is that? What is it that makes us want to be “seen?” Or, what is it that makes us want to hide?

Well my dear brothers and sisters, that is our ego. It’s that little part of our mind that wants the glory. That little part of the mind that says, “Hey, these are MY thoughts, and they are right, and everyone should hear them!” Oh the ego, how you make me giggle. Think about it my friends. When someone says something that you agree with or disagree with isn’t it almost a natural response to get in the middle and be like, “Hey everybody, check it out I’ve got something to say…now get your eyes and ears over here!” Or, on the other hand, “What I have to say isn’t good enough and everyone will laugh at my statement.”

Can you see that in your life? Can you remember experiences when that has happened? I for sure can think of about 1,000 instances when I have acted that way.

Why is it not enough that we silence our mind, our ego, and listen? Is that okay? I am not writing this because I am judging, that is the ego’s doing ;), but because I see it happening in my experience so much…I see myself doing it quite often. I would like for us to just be aware of our behaviors. This is a new age, the age of unity, collectivity, oneness, understanding, compassion, and unity ;). Many of us are now consciously becoming wayshowers, beams of Light, and it is important to realize that we, as individuals, are not the only teachers. If we allow our ego to interfere with our growth then we will slow our progress.

We are a collective, experiencing through our subjective reality, here to co-create with our beautiful brothers and sisters. It is important for us to find silence within ourselves and be open to teachers along our path. These teachers may come about in the unlikeliest of ways, our children, friends, family, acquaintances, animals. We must be quiet enough within ourselves to recognize when our teachers appear. If we are always forcing our way into the situation, when will we have time to allow the message to sink in? We must bring awareness into every aspect of our life, understand when it is time to listen and when it is time to speak. The ego will always strive for acknowledgement, but our True Self is always content knowing that no amount of words can compare to a heart full of Truth. We do not need to shout and force someone to realize their Divinity, when we demonstrate Divinity, that is all one needs to hear.

So, as most of you have figured out, this was mainly Me writing to myself, but I think it is something we can all begin to bring about in our own lives. To remain conscious of the reasons behind our words and actions, as well as when silence must be explored, and in turn bring about quicker growth. Wishing you Love and wellness on your journey!

With All My Love,
Zach IAM

Why Do You Want a Relationship?

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Very simply, it is because we want to experience another person expressing the way Divine Principle sees us. We want someone to call us beautiful, or smart, or funny, or wonderful, or…you get the picture. Why is it not enough that we see those things in ourselves?

Well, most of us don’t see that we are beautiful, or smart, or funny, or wonderful. We don’t view ourselves that way. We don’t see ourselves that way and when someone comes along saying we’re smart, and attractive, and wonderful we “fall in…” well we fall in something. Sometimes it’s love, sometimes its lust, sometimes that person really is somebody very special who we will share in a beautiful co-creative experience together. However, WHY we enter a relationship is the most important thing we must consider.

The majority of people go in and out of relationships wanting someone to make them feel a certain way. Some people want it to be “in love” so badly that they just jump in to every possible relationship. Some people just want to not feel lonely.

The reason so many relationships fail is because we are constantly asking our partners to make us feel a certain way. We think it is our job to make them feel a certain way, so it should be their job to make us feel a certain way. And then you wonder why you are unhappy and/or your relationships end? It is nobody’s responsibility to make you feel happy! Nor is it your job to make anyone else happy! Even parents…it is not your job to make your children happy. As a parent it is your job to be the best possible example for your child and allow them to make mistakes and grow as you had to make mistakes and learn from them as well. If you are smothering your children you are doing a disservice to them. You are the parent you are today because of your mistakes and the growth you experienced from them…allow your children the same opportunity so they may become just as wonderful as you!

So why do you want a romantic relationship? Have you been thinking about it while reading this?

You must be accepting and loving of yourself before you engage in a partnership with another person. If you want to meet the love of your life, and if you have, continue the relationship you cherish, you must enter into the partnership happy and loving of yourself. Or else your half of the whole, won’t be so much of a half, and your partner will have to fill the gaps. We must begin to look at ourselves as our Higher Self sees us, as God sees us.

When we begin to look at ourselves as beautiful, smart, funny, and wonderful we no longer need anyone else to make us feel that way. When we see ourselves as the magnificent, perfect expressions of Divinity, that is when we can enter into the partnership that will give us all we’ve wished for and more! Do not allow movies to influence you to believe that having another person will make you whole. You are whole! Right now! All you have to do is recognize it! When you see your own beauty and amazing-ness you will walk through the world with that regality. You don’t need somebody else to tell you that, because you already know that.

Your soul is whispering to you how beautiful you are every minute of every day…don’t allow your mind to intrude on that. Accept it! That is God whispering to you, right here, right now, right within you, that you…are…beautiful! Bring that awareness to your experiences.

I do want to say, it is perfectly well that you want to enter into a relationship. We are here in these beautiful temples to experience relationships in all different forms. That is a major part of the human experience. However, be aware of WHY you want to enter into a relationship. When you are aware of why you can then recognize the person who will bring their whole to complete the relationship circle.

With All My Love,

Zach

Why are relationships difficult?

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Why are relationships difficult?

Relationships are a partnership. Relationships are a coming together of 2 individual perspectives forming another perspective. It is not 2 coming together as one…it is 2 coming together to make 3. In this world we live in, typically each culture aims to create a power struggle between each gender. Who has the power in the relationship, etc. What we must understand is that when we are entering into an intimate relationship with another perspective we have to hold that idea that we are creating a new entity…your perspective, your partner’s, AND a relationship perspective.

Many of us aim to change the person we are entering into the relationship with to fit our ideals, which is opposite of what the relationship is for. The relationship is the merging of both your unique ideas and actions and having a playground of enjoyment to enjoy each others’ perspectives. It is not to force the other person to believe what you believe, talk the way you want them to talk, speak the way you want them to speak, dance how you dance, act as you act…it is an area where you allow that other person to be who they wish to be while they allow you to be who you want to be. It is not a space where your ego “plays a mind-game” to determine who has more power.

Although movies are nice and often times can inspire us, do not allow the idea that the thing you are missing is love from another person. You are your own love! Nobody presses their love upon you…it always comes from within you. When you find someone who brings that love out from within you, understand that, that it is from within you and this person was simply a catalyst for that. 🙂 When that is realized that person’s actions or words can never take that love from you because it always has and will resonate from within you.

Relationships are difficult because we do not understand the platform for which they are developed. We watch our parents do this or do that and think its normal…or we watch a movie and think, “Awe, that is true love.” You do not need another person to cuddle you and hold you close for you to acknowledge your own worth. You do not need someone to tell you are beautiful to know you are beautiful. Nor is it okay to stay in a relationship where another doesn’t respect you. If you enter into a relationship always looking for someone else to make you feel a certain way as soon as he/she stops saying or doing those things, you become upset and the relationship dissolves. You MUST acknowledge your own self-worth before you enter into a relationship with anybody else if you want to experience to a true meaningful relationship.

Do you want your relationship to succeed? Then realize that a relationship is a team…is a partnership. That means that you are in it together…but also that you maintain your individual perspective. If you are always focused on your own individual perspective and trying to win in the power struggle, the relationship suffers. If you do not cultivate continually your unique perspective, the relationship struggles and you suffer. It is a balance. Realize that if you do not feel whole then the missing part is not someone to fill that gap, but only the love for yourself that can fill it.

And lastly, communicate. If you are in a relationship and are still afraid to express yourself fully to that person, why are you in that relationship? A romantic relationship is being best friends with someone who you can also express the love you feel for that person physically. We must be able to communicate completely with an open heart in order to reap the benefits in a relationship. By limiting communication with your partner you are not guarding your heart, or protecting yourself, or anything else that you have been taught to believe…you are simply limiting the expansion that will occur in the relationship…you are limiting the possible joy and unencumbered bliss that will come about from that openness.

I wish us all a beautiful, open, blissful experience upon our paths in relationships and life. We have come to experience this reality with wonder and enjoyment and at the top of that list is co-creation with the other beautiful personalities upon this earth. Do not fear…when you find wholeness within yourself you will find wholeness in a relationship with another. Take the leap…enjoy the fall…the net is waiting at the bottom 😉 Wishing you a wonderful fun journey on your path! Love and Light!!!

All My Love,
Zach ❤