Relationships are a partnership. Relationships are a coming together of 2 individual perspectives forming another perspective. It is not 2 coming together as one…it is 2 coming together to make 3. In this world we live in, typically each culture aims to create a power struggle between each gender. Who has the power in the relationship, etc. What we must understand is that when we are entering into an intimate relationship with another perspective we have to hold that idea that we are creating a new entity…your perspective, your partner’s, AND a relationship perspective.
Many of us aim to change the person we are entering into the relationship with to fit our ideals, which is opposite of what the relationship is for. The relationship is the merging of both your unique ideas and actions and having a playground of enjoyment to enjoy each others’ perspectives. It is not to force the other person to believe what you believe, talk the way you want them to talk, speak the way you want them to speak, dance how you dance, act as you act…it is an area where you allow that other person to be who they wish to be while they allow you to be who you want to be. It is not a space where your ego “plays a mind-game” to determine who has more power.
Although movies are nice and often times can inspire us, do not allow the idea that the thing you are missing is love from another person. You are your own love! Nobody presses their love upon you…it always comes from within you. When you find someone who brings that love out from within you, understand that, that it is from within you and this person was simply a catalyst for that. 🙂 When that is realized that person’s actions or words can never take that love from you because it always has and will resonate from within you.
Relationships are difficult because we do not understand the platform for which they are developed. We watch our parents do this or do that and think its normal…or we watch a movie and think, “Awe, that is true love.” You do not need another person to cuddle you and hold you close for you to acknowledge your own worth. You do not need someone to tell you are beautiful to know you are beautiful. Nor is it okay to stay in a relationship where another doesn’t respect you. If you enter into a relationship always looking for someone else to make you feel a certain way as soon as he/she stops saying or doing those things, you become upset and the relationship dissolves. You MUST acknowledge your own self-worth before you enter into a relationship with anybody else if you want to experience to a true meaningful relationship.
Do you want your relationship to succeed? Then realize that a relationship is a team…is a partnership. That means that you are in it together…but also that you maintain your individual perspective. If you are always focused on your own individual perspective and trying to win in the power struggle, the relationship suffers. If you do not cultivate continually your unique perspective, the relationship struggles and you suffer. It is a balance. Realize that if you do not feel whole then the missing part is not someone to fill that gap, but only the love for yourself that can fill it.
And lastly, communicate. If you are in a relationship and are still afraid to express yourself fully to that person, why are you in that relationship? A romantic relationship is being best friends with someone who you can also express the love you feel for that person physically. We must be able to communicate completely with an open heart in order to reap the benefits in a relationship. By limiting communication with your partner you are not guarding your heart, or protecting yourself, or anything else that you have been taught to believe…you are simply limiting the expansion that will occur in the relationship…you are limiting the possible joy and unencumbered bliss that will come about from that openness.
I wish us all a beautiful, open, blissful experience upon our paths in relationships and life. We have come to experience this reality with wonder and enjoyment and at the top of that list is co-creation with the other beautiful personalities upon this earth. Do not fear…when you find wholeness within yourself you will find wholeness in a relationship with another. Take the leap…enjoy the fall…the net is waiting at the bottom 😉 Wishing you a wonderful fun journey on your path! Love and Light!!!
2 thoughts on “Why are relationships difficult?”
Blessings back at you, from a kindred spirit.
Thank you Christopher! Love and Light!!