self-realization

Decision to change…

Appreciation, Hope, Joy, Love, Self-Realization, Uncategorized

So I have been meditating A LOT lately! What I’ve come to continually ask myself is…if I feel this amazing, abundant, creative source within me, surrounding me, and filling me up with its infinite Truth and Love when I meditate, why do I not take that Universal Life Force with me through the rest of my day?! Why do I not live it? Why do I not completely throw out all of the disallowing thoughts, words, and actions? Why do I continually fall into repetitive patterns of not trusting God, that Life Force; of feeling worried, concerned, sad? When is it time to become the change I want to see? What is it that causes that change? Is there a catalyst or do you just one day decide to make a change?

For the last 2 weeks I have been feeling very back and forth on this topic since breaking up with the most amazing woman I have ever known. I will feel sad, or scared, or doubtful and then I will meditate and those feelings will shift to empowerment, love, gratitude, faith, and trust. And those emotions will carry me for a while through the day, then those negative emotions come flooding back in after a moment of contradicting thoughts. So when is it for me, or us, to decide to become the change we want to be and see? When is it time to embody our God-given right? When is it time to become our True nature? When do we let that Universal Life Force, God, flood our physical bodies and permeate every fiber of our being? I can tell you that my time is now!

I know now that I am tired of feeling concerned! I consciously understand and know that a negative emotion is caused by God having his thought of my perfect nature and my thought in that moment not matching up with his thought for me. And contrastingly, when my thoughts line up with what God thinks about me I am feeling joy and love…so then why would I ever in my right mind think a thought contradicting God’s thought of me?! God is this all-seeing brighter perspective that is guiding me on the path that I have chosen. What I mean is that when I consciously intend to create an experience or health outcome or whatever, God now guides me on the path to the manifestation of the intention. And God guides me through my emotions. If I’m not on the path to creating my desire then I feel bad, and vice versa. So why do I, and I’m sure you too, consistently take myself off the path and feel bad? That is so silly! Is that not silly?! God wants all the good for His children that they can create, and I today am going to start creating!!!

I am over being tired and worn-down emotionally! I am done with questioning God’s infinite wisdom and Love for all His children and am going to NOW follow His desire for me, which is to be happy and create as I choose! I get to choose what it is I want to experience and because of God’s infinite Love, He creates through me! I am NOW choosing to be the God-man that is my, and our, True nature! I am NOW choosing to embody what God has bestowed upon me! To create as I choose! To love all beings as myself! To bring light to everyone around me! To help all those that need assistance in any way! To change the consciousness of the world through my own demonstration! To show the way to the light through my thoughts, words, actions, and life!! I can no longer have this knowledge and continue to do nothing with it! I must fully embody the Universal Life Force and live the life of that Truth! It is time for a change! Within myself and for the world! We are Divine creators by nature and I wish that all my friends begin to feel this power within them as well! I hope we can all find this Truth and begin to live it together!!

With All My Love,

Zach

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Truth…

Appreciation, Hope, Joy, Love, Self-Realization

Now this afternoon I had one of the most incredible meditations I have ever had. I ended up meditating for exactly one hour without a timer. I didn’t realize that until just now, but I think it’s pretty amazing that my body KNEW to meditate for exactly one hour. However, while I was meditating I began to ask questions. When I felt that I was done asking myself questions I focused my attention on my breath. I felt the breath move in and out of my nostrils, and also felt it cause my belly to rise and fall.

For the first ten minutes, I would say, I was having somewhat of a mind battle. The one where I try to focus my awareness and then I start thinking of something, then try to focus my awareness and then start thinking of something again, etc. Once my mind battle was over, I truly began to FEEL my breath. I felt the sensations of the air flowing in through my nose, touching every nasal surface, and then flowing out. My breaths began to start getting deeper and more powerful and I could feel more pressure within my nose. And suddenly I began to affirm to myself, “I AM GOD.” This is an affirmation I use when I feel that my awareness is drifting and while I am breathing I will say “I AM” during the inhalation and “GOD” on the exhalation. I continued to do this until I felt I no longer needed to. Thoughts then started flooding my mind. Thoughts such as: “God is non-physical energy, as I am an extension of non-physical energy in physical form, I am God.” “Since I am God I have all that I have asked. When I ask, it is given. Now that I know I am non-physical in a physical vessel that carries God, all that I ask is given.” “Since I have all that God has, seeing as that God and I are One, I no longer need to worry about anything because I have everything I could ever need.” After I had accepted these thoughts and felt the purity for which they were I began to visualize my desires.

Typically I try not to visualize during my meditations but for some reason I felt that I should do it (maybe that was God telling me to do it). As I began to visualize what it is that I desire, I felt at ease. I felt the fluidity in which I was able to visualize my body being in complete wholeness, all the money I needed being supplied, my relationships in perfect harmony, and it felt INCREDIBLE!!! It felt like life just flowed through me and I was LIFE! I was all that life is and I didn’t want to release that feeling. I then began to think of those who I know who are ailing in some way. At that moment I felt the white light in the middle of my body (my heart) and imagined sending that white light to those who are in discord. I focused on sending these individuals the white light of love and life and saw them as whole. Their bodies were in their natural states again, wholeness.  The power of God felt as if it was flowing through me!! Once I spent maybe 5 minutes, I think, visualizing my desires and seeing others in their natural states I once again focused my awareness.

I again began to affirm, ” I AM GOD.” As I continued, thoughts overcame my awareness once more. This time however, all that came in was, “GOD is ALL. GOD is NOW. I AM GOD.” I have never liked affirmations much, but these came in with such force! The Truth to which these resonated inside of me was astounding! As I continued to affirm these statements I simply thought of the word, TRUTH. Immediately, the statement, “Truth lies in the eye of the beholder” popped into my mind. I discontinued the affirmation and pondered that statement briefly.

Now here I was having an incredible experience, feeling connected with the Source from which I came, KNOWING that I was on a path of cosmic or universal or divine understanding and knowledge, and yet so many others did not feel or think the same . So does that make one of us wrong? Was I fooling myself? Or was I starting to take my blinders off while so many others still had them on? My answer was this: Our true nature is Love. God is Love, God is Life, therefore Love is Life and Life is Love. So, if we are allowing Love to fill our physical vessels, in that moment we are God. Love is kind, it is compassionate, it is caring, it is patient, it is forgiving. That means that if we are truly Love, if we allow ourselves to be fully enveloped in Love, allow it to penetrate and fill up each and every one of the cells in our body, then we are truly God. That means that nobody needs to be right or wrong, that means that to search within ourselves is to find God, that means not looking at others to bring you happiness but finding it within yourself, that means to acknowledge a friend, loved one, or stranger and KNOW with full certainty that we have all come from One infinite Source, that we are all here to benefit the world with our Love and internal Light! This I KNOW with full certainty!

I KNOW that if we all search for Truth within ourselves that we would all come to the conclusion that life is more than earning hoards of money, more than spending most of our lives at a stressful job, more than worrying about another, more than fear and pain. Our answer would all be that life is meant to be lived, to laugh uncontrollably, to see beauty all around us, to feel the presence of God within us and around us, to uplift those surrounding us, to feel strength and security in Spirit, to know that we are always making a difference and when we are conscious of it we are changing the world for the better, and to KNOW that we are all connected and that LOVE is who we are and will always be! That, I KNOW is Truth! I know that those who are searching will find this.

“As above, so below. As within, so without.”

With All My Love,

Zach

Water the roots….

Appreciation, Hope, Joy, Love, Self-Realization

Hello friends,

So my incredible girlfriend has really been making me think lately.  Every time I seem bewildered by some thought or belief I have she will simply reply, “Well are you?” or “Do you?” It is as if she is telling me to look within myself and find the answers…truly look within my self, get rid of all the garbage I have in my mind, and genuinely look within and find the answers…and here is what I’ve come up with 🙂

I came to realize that I am very judgmental and self-righteous. I always look at other individuals and think to myself, “You do this which is wrong because I do it this way!” When I watch other personal trainers I think, “Your way of training is ineffective because it is not the way that I train!” When I speak to someone about religion or spirituality again I think, “that is crazy to believe what you believe because it is not what I believe and what I believe is Truth!” All of these are exaggerations, but the at the core of what I am thinking are those thoughts. They may be thought somewhat differently, but they all revolve around me being right and you being wrong. What is that? Why do I always have to be right? Aren’t there enough ideas and beliefs and whatever for everyone to have? Why do I have to make everyone train the way that I train, or eat the way I eat, or believe what I believe?

After looking within I found that I have a huge ego!!!! Not the ego where you think you’re beautiful and amazing and so forth, but the ego that separates me from my divine nature, God. I always have to be right, and the smartest, and most knowledgable, and get the accolades, and me, me, me, me, me!!! And that is not a good thing! It’s a little crazy honestly. I would actually start fights with Sara, my perfect girlfriend, about something to question her beliefs and then tell her how she always had to be right…when in actuality I was the one trying to prove to myself about how right my differing opinion was! Does that not sound ridiculous!?!? For me, being right was a virus, and it caused a tremendous amount of turmoil in my life. But what the cause of that virus was, was my EGO!!

I took a wintermester yoga class at UNR a few years ago. My teacher was a martial artist and was discussing Bruce Lee one day. She was explaining how he was her favorite martial artist ever, but mentioned that what got in his way and perhaps killed him was his ego. Now I am not sure if his ego killed him, it very well could have, but the point is that what she said stuck with me. I was a martial artist as a child and idolized Bruce Lee. He was the one and only martial artist for me. So as I started looking within recently, I found that my ego is doing the same thing as Bruce Lee’s. It is getting in the way of my spiritual expansion. It is holding me back. Then I wondered what this thing I call my ego is?

I feel that my ego is all the ideas I have taken in from the outside world that has caused me to believe that I am separate from everything in this world. That I am, for some reason, one single person in the entire universe and can only trust myself, and will only have myself forever, and only know myself, and me, me, me, me…AHHHHHH!!!!!!

I have lived my life going in and out of feeling connected to all others and everything and being self-righteous and ego driven! And it sucks!!!!! Some days you are as high as a kite and a week later you are feeling separate and self-righteous. However, I never took the time to truly look within myself and find the answers for myself, so that is what I have been doing these past 2 weeks. I have always known the answers, just never took the time to truly accept them. Somewhere I knew that I was being held back by my beliefs, and knowledge, and everything else that I have gathered along my 24 years. Not all of it was bad, in fact a lot of knowledge I have come across has helped me grow immensely and has led me to this point in my life. However, I know that it is time to take out the trash.

The trash in my mind…the beliefs that are not in accordance with who I really am, Spirit. It’s time to be accepting, by listening and being understanding of other individuals’ beliefs and values and opinions simply because they are what that person thinks. It is not up to me to change everyone’s mind and make everyone believe as I do, if that was the case this world would be really boring and really crazy!! 😉 I need to treasure and be grateful for the immense diversity on the planet…that is what makes us so beautiful!! All I can do is become the change I want to see…become that which is my True Self, Spirit, and live the life that is in harmony with that. Not judging or condemning anyone else for feeling or thinking differently, but know that we are brothers and sisters to whom I get to love and be grateful for.

I like to leave you with something I experienced this morning. While I was watering our terribly dry lawn a thought came to me…”If you only water the top layer of grass it will get burned and die, it is only when you water the deep roots that the grass will thrive and grow.” The reason this meant so much to me was the reason for me writing this. I had, and continually have to, search the depths of myself to grow. It is then that I will thrive with the understanding of myself and Spirit.

I hope that if you read this it helps you as much as it helped me!!!

With All My Love,

Zach