Recently I have been noticing a few things regarding interpersonal encounters on a social networking website, especially coming from my male brethren. Now, there will be no lesson to learn from this, no real deep spiritual questioning, just some observations, and possibly questions we could ask ourselves to understand our behaviors. So here goes nothin’.

Most of the women that I am friends with, or acquainted with, are conventionally quite beautiful. Men seem to fawn over them and find them to be physically beautiful. As such, these girls (women I guess, but we’re all boys and girls let’s be honest) receive much attention and praise when they post a picture of their face, and a lot of attention when they post a body picture, especially of one in a swimsuit or the like. Now, when I read the comments of the men who they are friends with, I think to myself, “Why in the world did you say THAT? Why weren’t you just up-front?”

Usually something along the lines of, “Nice tan” or “Cute sandals” when it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that you’re actually saying, “I find you incredibly physically attractive and I want you to notice me!” So my question is, why are we not more direct? Why don’t we just say what we feel? These are serious questions to ask yourself if you are reading this? Why beat around the bush when all you need to do is change your words so that you express your true feelings and intentions?

Now this next little segment is for my female friends, my sisters. When these men comment on your photos why is it that you ignore them? And moreover, why do you find it annoying to have men you don’t know giving you compliments? That would seem like something you could appreciate, instead of condemn. And lastly, why do you become frustrated that men don’t see the “real you” when you never show that part of yourself? You just post pictures of you in full make-up and/or in a bikini and expect men to look past that and not get a thousand likes. My dear sisters, most men have been conditioned since they were young, and that conditioning didn’t come with a program that said, “Stop looking at her lady parts and tell her how smart she looks!”

Returning to my brothers, if you do happen to do this, recognize it. I would never say to stop it, well I might but I don’t mean it. Just be aware. Be aware of WHY you are commenting on this photo or that photo. Are you doing it because you actually DO like her shoes? Yes…okay that is fine. Are you doing it because you want to be noticed? Yes…okay that is fine too, but recognize that you can just as easily say, “You are a beautiful young lady.” It’s that simple. Does that mean she will respond the way you want her to? Maybe, maybe not, but at least you took the leap of being honest.

And sisters, if this DOES happen to you, a boy commenting on your photo, be appreciative that you have someone who finds you attractive. Do you have to go on a date with him and lead him on? Absolutely not, a simple genuine thank you is more than enough. But also be aware of why you are posting pictures? Could it be that you DO want the attention but might not be getting it from the group you would like it?

I am just throwing things out there. WHY are we choosing to act the way we do? Why do we refuse to be honest with ourselves and share our true feelings? WHY? That is really it. Just questioning our behaviors and hopefully learning in the process 🙂

All My Love
Zach IAM