Where I Found God…
I feel as if over my 28 years of living on this earth that I have searched for a lot of things. I have searched for a life partner, I have searched for the perfect career, I have searched for peace, I have searched for acceptance, but most of all I have searched for God.
Why I Wanted To Find God
You see, after having gone through 4 years of chemotherapy, full body radiation, a bone marrow transplant, and witnessing a whole lot of children, adolescents, and parents suffer I did a whole lot of searching. I searched for answers to why there is suffering, I searched for answers to why these children had to die, I searched for why any of us get sick, I asked God tirelessly for answers but he never replied to my questioning!
I asked and asked and asked. I just kept asking for answers, and my response was barren. Why wasn’t God answering me?! Was I not important enough to be answered? Was I too small and of little importance in His plan that I didn’t deserve an answer? I felt something there wanting to make it self known but I couldn’t hear it! I was scared and confused and questioning and I couldn’t hear the answers I was needing. Until at the age of 19 a friend gave me a movie…and that movie led to a book…and that book led to meditation.
Where I Found God…
As a boy I was only led to the Bible, and from my interpretation of the bible I was led to understand that God is outside me. God is a Presence, which I interpreted as an omnipotent man, that came to the earth in the form of Jesus, and that may or may not decide which individuals to communicate with. As I grew older, and where I stand now in my consciousness, I understood that my past beliefs were mistaken.
At 19 I began to meditate, and from that stillness I was led to a deeper understanding. As I searched the depths of my mind in solitude, I began to uncover hidden gems in the midst of all the chaos and chatter. In the midst of all the darkness, in the midst of all the noise, I found God.
I found God right in the core of my being. I found God at the center of my heart. I found God in me, and I found me in God. I had realized that all my questioning, all my seeking, had led me to the most secret place of all…within myself. I realized that the answers to all the questions I had been seeking were right within my grasp the whole time. The answers that seemed to evade me for so long only took a quieting of my own inner noise and they appeared in front of me.
How Does Meditation Help You Find God?
As I quieted my mind while meditating it was as if I was sinking deeper within an ocean. All the noise of my mind remained at the surface, but as I sat there still, I began to sink deeper. As I sank, I noticed my mind, active at the surface, watching the storms throw the surface yet remaining completely still. As I sank I found the peace that we so long for throughout our lives. I continued deeper, and as I did so, I had a new perspective. I realized that not only was I the surface, but I was the entire ocean.
This depth of understanding showed me that the answer was always waiting to come forth, but in getting lost on the storm at the surface I was unable to sink deeper where it was waiting to be realized.
How Can I Find God If I’m Only Human?
As a result of meditation, I was led to more self-help and sacred religious texts than I would have ever thought I would see. As I remained still, books, people, events, circumstances flooded into my life. All the answers that I had been seeking started working their way forth. Every time I read a new book I thought, “Wow, I know this! I don’t know how I know this, but I FEEL it! Why haven’t I realized this sooner?”
What I realized mostly importantly was that all religious texts claim that we have a soul, and that that soul is an expression of the Godhead, the Divine Presence. The difficulty we continue to perpetuate is that we identify with our bodies rather than that soul. We are taught to believe we are somehow sinners, or some form of imperfection, rather than holding to the inner knowing that we are all extensions of that very Godhead we are searching so deeply for.
How Can I Hear God?
Eventually, if your searching is true, you will come to the understanding and knowing that you are a perfect extension of God. Once that becomes your truth, it is impossible not to hear God. As you live that truth, your entire life becomes a conversation with the Higher Self that is you, that is God. You talk constantly to God, asking for guidance, asking for a demonstration of connection, asking for the path, and then you realize that you need only listen to your emotions.
You begin to trust the old adage, “Trust your gut,” is the key to your conversation with God. You realize that the way you feel is your indication of your connection with God, your Self. As you speak, and ask for the answer, you instantly receive the answer in the form of an emotional response. As you think to yourself, “I miss Johnny, he was the only person I will ever love and he’ll never love me back,” and you feel bad, you recognize that God, your Soul, is telling you that your thoughts are amiss. When you have that understanding you can change your thought, “Johnny was a part of my earthly experience, and there is someone that fits me better who will love me as I love him,” and as you feel good you will know God, your Soul, is telling you that you are in harmony with Infinite truth.
How Long Does It Take To Find God?
I found God in more places than I can count. To this day I am continuing to find God, my Self, and open the depths of my heart after a decade of searching; and hopefully that searching never end. For you to find God it may take one month, one year, one decade, or even one second, but if you take the time to still your mind and sink deeper within yourself, you have already found God.
As I said earlier, it is not about looking for God anywhere outside of yourself. If you have read the entirety of this article then you realize that wholly and truly you are God! So then it becomes more about when will you find your self? When will you decide that enough is enough of refusing to accept the constant pulling of your heart for awakening? When will you decide that you are tired of searching for something that has always been yours? When will you decide that always searching outside yourself is exhausting and tireless, and that finally accepting your grace and Godhood is the answer you have always longed for?
A million may seek for God in the world, but the one who seeks his own heart is free.
All My Love,
I offer life coaching for those interested in guidance for their inner journey…